People-ing

This morning we're having people over to the house for a light brunch of bagels. It's an unofficial ribbon-cutting ceremony for our renovated kitchen.

I'm naturally an introvert, so I don't have people over often. We used to have people constantly streaming through our house, and that's when I had three small children. It was a lot for me then and when I finally spoke up in protest, it slowed down considerably.

But now I worry that my preference takes precedence a little too often. When I told my husband I wanted to have people over, he was so excited it made me realize that maybe I'm not considering his extroverted heart enough. He definitely gets his "hit" of people by going out and about with friends, chatting with people on the phone, being part of projects and checking out places/events around town. But I didn't realize, until I saw his expression, how much he misses having people in our home.

I'm not the most organized or the cleanest housekeeper, so that's part of the struggle. I know how much I'll have to do before people come and that's half the battle. I mean, it's not like it used to be when we had a collection of toys carpeting the living room. It's easier now with only three grown-ups living here (our youngest is a high school senior). But I think the "getting ready" trauma from the past always raises it's head when I think of preparing for company.

The irony is that most of my friends could care less about how tidy my house is, they just wanna hang out. And yet, I put this perfectionist expectation on myself and build a barrier for wanting others in my home.

The introverted part of me is also nervous that I'll get overwhelmed or feel trapped. But these are just thoughts. The truth is, I usually end up having great conversations and love the energy from everyone having a good time.

Afterwards, the silence is always a high as well. Sitting in the quiet, with a clean house, surrounded by yummy leftovers, makes me insurmountably happy!