My 30 Day Yoga Failure

My husband showed me a video of an engineer whose friends dared him to ride a bicycle they had re-made so when you turn the handle bars to the right, the wheels go left. He understood it in theory but couldn't ride the bike that way because his mind and body were wired for riding how he'd learned as a child. Many people tried but no one could do it. He shared how our brains have something like algorithms that take a long time to change. Even if our minds know something, it takes much longer to accept and it's often with practice. So he practiced riding the backward bike five minutes every day for eight months. Finally, it clicked and he was able to ride!

I started this challenge to do yoga for thirty days. Sidenote: I am not an A-type personality; I'm more of a Z-type. So naturally, I haven't done so well with my challenge. I started out strong logging my excitement through the first week:

Day 1:

Today I woke up with a stiff neck and sore right shoulder so jumping into yoga was exciting because I knew it would stretch them out. This first video seemed really gentle and slow. It wasn't completely what I expected but it was exactly what I needed! Felt so amazing at the end. The stiffness in my neck was almost gone and soreness in my shoulder had disappeared.

Day 2: 

I really enjoyed today's stretching video. It felt good on my shoulders and back. The low lunges were difficult for me and I found myself having to lower my knees to stay balanced even after adjusting my position. Hopefully I'll gain strength there. I enjoyed the routine of touching toes and stepping back though!

Day 3:

This lesson was more difficult for me. It focused on balancing and I really struggled to hold several of the poses. It just showed me that I really need to work on building balance. it was a tiny bit discouraging but I know over time I will gain strength.

Day 4:

Oh my, I loved this day's practice. It felt so good to my body and lower back! I was able to easily do all the practices so that helped boost confidence. I am wondering how to do the child's pose when I have a belly. Do you open the legs to make room? Keep your head higher? I need some adjustments in that. It's so relaxing to end in corpse pose.

Day 5:

This was a fairly easy practice and seemed short compared to the other ones.

Day 6:

I usually hate abdominal workouts, but I'll admit I liked this one. It was done with enough flow and change of activity that it didn't register as too difficult to my brain, even though my abs felt it!

Day 7: 

Worked up a sweat today! This one was a bit more active and used many of the moves she's been teaching. It was easier to follow along because I'm becoming more familiar with them. Only the side leg lift took me off-balance, everything else was doable.

Day 8:

More meditative and calming. This feel on a Saturday and was perfect for relaxation and resetting my mind.

Then I had a rough day and didn't fit yoga in. It snowballed into a bunch of days. 

Day 14:

This one was nice and stretching with legs and shoulders. I did have a pain shoot through my left knee during one of the forward lunges, so I turned my foot outward a bit more and that seemed to help.

Entered day fourteen, then nothing. Today's the eighteenth.

My inner critic started in with: "I knew you wouldn't do it", "You can't finish anything", and "You never do it right". Inner critics are so mean! I didn't want to blog about it. I felt silly and stupid for not being consistent with 30 days of yoga (especially since I was enjoying it). 

But then I thought of you and how you might feel alone in your struggle to do new things. How you might feel like you're the only one falling down, when you're certainly not. Maybe you have failures like me and need to see someone bite the dust to know we can stand back up. I thought about the bike rider and how we're all wired. New habits are not like a switch you flip and suddenly you're different. It takes time. It takes re-training and practice. Reaching goals is more like stumbling than walking a perfect line.

Fall down, get up again. Fall down, get up again. Fall down and sit for days, get up again.

We need time to change the algorithm.

So I'm getting up and I'm going to finish this challenge in an imperfect, falling-forward way. Maybe I won't get all the days in, but that's okay; some days are better than nothing. I'm shushing the inner critics, embracing imperfection and continuing on.

Do you struggle with this? Are you a stumbling goal-setter?