Happy Birthday, oh You!

It's odd how no adult aspires to grow older. Kids have the twenty-something years to look forward to. They mark each birthday and half-birthday anxiously awaiting the moment when everyone around must call them an adult. But no middle age person counts down the time till they're aged. And yet there is something freeing about my age--this marker a bit past middle. 

I feel as though I've finally grown up. I'm able to honestly share my thoughts, less likely to feel I need to please someone else, more compassionate because I've probably done the same stupid things, and all-around more aware. Taking the month of November to observe this one simple life has given me a fresh perspective. Everything around me is alive and pulsing with an energy I have rarely been attentive to. And today is even brighter because it's my birthday.

Normally I take this time to spotlight my twin sister (who obviously shares my birthday) and brother (whose birthday is tomorrow); but today at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I'm staying with me. I'm four years away from the age my sweet friend was when she died. I can't help but think that thought each time I inch closer. Something about her death spurs me forward to follow the whispers pointing to my dreams. She lived her life big and I doubt she had many regrets. If I died now, I might have many. I don't want to end that way. I want to go out explosive--leaving a trail of beauty behind me that continues on without needing my help.

I suppose today I'm feeling reflective and I'm sorry if it seems like a downer; but truly I feel inspired, not sad. I feel compelled to move forward. To forgive others, love in each possible moment and celebrate the tiny, forgotten beauties of life. I'll be keeping my camera in hand today (might even end up with a photo-an-hour post) to capture this day and remember it's simplistic blaze of glory.